So about that...

we finally found a moved into a new apartment. its in rigby and so far we love it. we take about a 2 mile walk everyother day around town. its really nice. people are nicer here. we've had so many people wave as we walk by, lots of little kids say they like our dog. Bowser. He's really enjoying the area too. theres a huge vacant field right behind our row of apartments where we let him run on potty breaks. there is a family of foxes living there too, but bowser hasn't discovered them yet. destin sees them bounding every so often. collan loves going for walks too. ive been working on his halloween costume and finally got it done. next for destin's. its going to be quite a feat. no pattern. just my brain. he's already made the stiltz, with danny's assistance and welding expertise. so i'm making a fuzzy 7 foot wolf costume. woohoo. wish me luck, we'll post a video later of him in full garb. i miss my family. i'm being selfish and hoping mom and dad get to move to ogden. i know its crappy moving. but the drive would be so much easier! we're waiting on the VA again for more physical therapy. after that the compensation department will review destin's claim again and his mobility. he still cant rotate his arm outward at all really. but idaho housing if footing the entire rent, we pay utilities. so we're saving quite a bit. i hope i'll remember to post later. i dont seem to have a mind anymore.

hello again!

so i just barely got a working compy with internet, and read all the blogs ive missed. so tomorrow i will try to put up some recent events and pics :) hopefully. destins shoulder is better, but so far he can't rotate it out and the physical therapist says it doesn't look too promising, but we're hoping a little more time will make it better. more later.

update finally!

Collan is almost a year old. i can't believe it. he's walking around furniture and pulling everything he can off of shelves and out of cupboards. its hard to keep up sometimes! i will get pictures up later. hopefully sooner than later. i have a ton more. he has one tooth with the second on the way. he eats everything! except peas. he does not like peas in the least. he loves baths. he will splash until i take him out. i end up getting a bath too. and he loves his puppies. when he does catch diogi, he pulls on her legs, ears, whatever he can grab. she likes to sit in his lap. mostly because he doesnt know how to push her off yet :) he plays keep away with bowser too. he'll grab one of bowsers toys, wave it in his face, then when bowser goes to grab it, he pulls it away and laughs histerically. i have yet to catch it on video. i have quite a few videos, but dont know how to upload them yet.
i have had the priveledge to join a friend at the gym a few days this week, and i love it. i can run for 30 minutes without stopping, and can do 100 crunches with a 10lbs weight. well, they're kind of crunches. i have aching back muscles i didnt know existed. and my hamstrings hurt. but i feel awesome. it might be an illusion, but i think my tummy fat is finally shrinking. for the past couples years ive been saying i wanted a bicycle to ride. i new one that still works right and doesnt sqeak. for valentines day, destin got me one! just a cheaper one from walmart, but i love it and its pretty. i cant wait till its warm enough to ride! i hate riding in town, but i'll deal. ( i hate crosswalks and traffic, people are too dumb and unpredictable.)
Destin got a call a little while back from the marines. the are re-evaluating his disability rating from the date of discharge. this is not the same as the VA rating. if the marines rating goes up, he will get backpay from the date of discharge and benefits monthly for life. (as far as i understand it) THEN, the VA has to up their rating and it will go up. then Collan and I get medical coverage through the VA. the disabilty pay he gets monthly now will rise, and best case senario, we can get approved for a VA loan for a house! woohoo! that would be awesome. worst case senario, the marines decide to be poopie and nothing changes. but destin has another VA appointment this next tuesday and they will probably tell him he needs another surgery, and it will have to be a full shoulder replacement. if that happens, his rating goes up anyway and maybe we get a house in a year and a half at the earliest. anyway, thats about all thats going on right now. cioa!

6 month update!

so im finally uploading stuff for you all to love. here's just a few of the many pictures i've taken. if you want more, you can steal them at thanksgiving. they take way too long to upload.

all the way up on his hands!

chillin with great grandma!

so big! sitting up all by himself!

Collan's first halloween. i made him a costume to be max from where the wild things are.

his six months appointment. he doesnt like getting shots, but he was perfectly happy before they poked him!

he loves his tub time!

and eating the washcloth!

he loves to laugh at mommy. cuz she's a nut.

this is in the car in utah waiting for amy and andy to get home from work. he was perfectly content playing with his little toes :)

this was the first time he really sat up well, for more than a few seconds!

this one is because he's so darn cute :)

this is his first beanie that he loves to wear

collan and his new cousin dannika

thats all for now. at his six month check up he was 26 1/2 inches tall ans 19 lbs 6 ounces :)

4 months!

Collan had a doctor's appt yesterday, and we got dr. groberg. So far so good. He's 24 1/2 inches long, 16 pounds 4 ounces, and chubby chubby :) he got his second round of shots and did really good, only cried for e few seconds. but last night, he got a fever. which is crazy cuz he was still super happy and talking to us, and giggling. i had to give him three doses of tylenol through the night, and it finally broke about 5 this morning. he got to sleep with us most of the night, so i could feel him. and the doctor said not to feed him in the middle of the night, but where he wasnt feeling too good, i let him last night. and he needs attention now, so i'll write more later

update

So Collan is almost 4 months old now. he weighs somewheres around 18 pounds. he has a check up on the 24th, so we'll know for sure then. he hasnt been sleeping any better. last night he woke up almost every hour. ive tried putting a little rice cereal in his milk, but its doesnt seem to be helping. although he does spit up less with it. he's hungry a lot. but doesnt eat much in one sitting. he almost holds his own bottle tho. im exhausted.
we're buying a jetta today for half its worth. its a really nice one. and we'll get great gas mileage. we got a lizard too. his name is frank. he's a little water dragon. bowser wants to eat him :) we went camping last week too. just up above kelly's canyon. from tuesday to sunday, and then i started laundry, and our dryer broke. the heating element is freaking out and i dont want to burn down the building. it still under warranty, i just need to call sears and get it fixed. i hate the sears here. all the employees are incompitent. anyway, not much else going on. still fighting thrush and stuff, but we're trudging on. still breastfeeding. and he's calling me now. till later then...

Like a Champ

poor little collan got his first shots today. and he's taking it like a champ. he got quite upset when they were initially given, but he's just a smilin away now. he's thirteen pounds, one ounce. 22 and a half inches long, and healthy as can be. well, thats about it...

so, i have like a million pictures to upload, but as to save you all from an overload, i'll just do a few this time. mostly of collan's blessing tuxpeedo :) a few of random days as well.

Oh the joys

Talk about your lazy Sunday afternoon...

poor little guy has been so fussy all morning. he finally just passed out...

the monster!!!

our little baby boy is already seven weeks old. i took him for a check up type thing at the wic office on monday, and in the last month he's gained 3 pounds and only grown 3/4 of an inch. he's a chunky feller :) but he's healthy in that respect. for his height he's in the 50th percentile, and his weight, the 98th. all around size he's in the 95th. i got weighed too, and in the last month, i've lost 10 lbs. :) its pretty awesome. i weigh less than when i got pregnant! yay! and i was thinking of joining jayme when she drives up to washington at the end of the month, but haven't decided yet. its a long drive when you breastfeeding. but matbe we can figure something out. we'll see i guess. not much else going on. just staying at home with my monster. oh, and i cut my hair. about six inches off. its about as long as mom's now, if not a little longer. it stays out of the way when im feeding collan, and he has a harder time reaching it to pull on it. :) thats all for now i suppose...

So little Collan is three weeks old today! I cant believe how fast time has gone by. maybe its the lack of sleep that makes it fly.

I love his little grumpy face. and his, "I'm gonna eat you" face. he does that one a lot. i have yet to catch his kissy face. He likes to pull things over his face. like this burp cloth. yeah, he did that. i think he was hiding from the sun.

this was just before the ninja shot, he was so grumpy that i put him in the car seat, he wouldnt look at me! so i took a picture!

So Collan is two weeks old today. I never thought breastfeeding could be so painful. oh my goodness it feels like they could just fall off! But Collan is doing great. He wakes up every couple hours at night, and I'm super tired, but we'll figure things out. He doesn't leave much time for anything else. I love just snuggling him :) and I've got a few pictures of him.

i think this one's super cute.

He sleeps just like his daddy. And he looks like an old man in this one :)

He's so strong already! He pushes off Destin's hands when he's on his belly and scoots forward. He can lift his head pretty high and hold it for a while, but his arms aren't very strong yet. we're working on that. He's got a good grip with those little hands of his though. I've got more pictures on my phone, but no more time for now to upload them. next time :D

Beautiful Baby Boy

Collan Edward Sterling was born April 20th, 2009 at 8.18pm at Eastern Idaho Regional Medical Center. He weighed 8 pounds 5 ounces, and reached 21 inches. It took 11 and a half hours of labor to get the little guy out. I didnt want to have to get an epideral, but after 9 hours of labor and 6 cm dialated, I couldn't handle the pain anymore. Destin says that every nurse on duty poked a head in to make sure I wasn't dying. Something like 15 minutes after i got the epideral, I went from 6 to 9 centimeters, and started pushing. it took nearly 2 hours to get his head under the pelvic bone, then he just slipped out. Destin cut the ambilical cord, and watched them clean him all off. During that time i got a few stitches from first degree tearing and cleaned up. Then i got to hold my son. He's beautiful and perfectly healthy. I've had a little trouble with breastfeeding, so my doctor gave me some antibiotics. They make collan's tummy a little upset. But we're getting through. Just healing and growing now. I'll get all the hospital pics up one of these days.

so, just one week left. If he's not born by monday, the doctor is going to stimulate. i dont know if that means inducing, or if it's a smaller step before inducing... he doesnt explain much... and i took a picture of my huge tummy. i just have to get it off my phone.

haha i win. we even went 4x4ing yesterday, and collan wouldnt come out. i think he enjoyyed it too much, didnt want to ruin the day for himself. i dont blame him. its all nice and warm inside, why come out? but theres a picture for all the whiners. :) jk. not much else to say. kinda bumming around. just waiting. feeling helpless and lazy.

37 weeks

so if collan decides to come out tuesday or later, he wont be considered premature. the fluid level around him is pretty low, so i have to go to the hospital twice a week, plus the weekly docs visit, so monitor his heartrate, make sure he's not under any stress. so far so good. at the last ultrasound, the technician was watching for breathing movements in his abdomen, just to make sure if he is born soon, he wont have problems breathing. collan gets the hiccoughs at least twice a day, so i think he'll be good and strong. his legs sure are. we'll see how the next couple weeks go i guess~

Ramblings...

I hate life. not my life, just the general term. there is no living without money. you cant eat, cant stay warm, and just cant survive. you cant get money without slavery. thats all that jobs are. minimum wage is a joke. a bunch of old fat egotistical men came up with each states minimum wage. they all got together, sat their fat butts around a table that cost more than a house, drinking coffee that cost more than a month of food simply because another fat old man said it was good, and calculated the very least amount of money it took a person to survive in any given area. subtracted a dollar or two an hour, and made it minimum wage. and thanks to all the stupid dirty and all around discusting illegal mexicans, every employer in the state can get away with only paying that much. and if you are lucky enough to get a job that you can survive off of, whats the point? nine hours a day, five days a week, to do mind numbing, dull, stupid repedative tasks that wouldnt make a difference if the world depended on it. for the rest of us that cannot survive with our crappy jobs, we rely on state assistance. with a huge, fat catch. you still have to get so much money a week to get your assistance. how stupid is that?! if i was making enough a week, i wouldnt need your assistance now would i?!?! if you dont make enough, they waste your time and gas to get to a class that serves no purpose, and require you to spend so many hours a week looking for a better job. hey guess what, if i could get a better job, i wouldnt have filed a claim. there are no jobs unless you have a degree, two years minimum experience, or are willing to work for that aweful minimum wage flipping greasy nasty fat dripping burgers for the already fat and nasty people of this world. all in all, i hate life.

on a happier note, i went into labor five weeks early. they were able to stop it with some pills, but those pills give me tremors and im still in loads of pain. so to sum up my night, i'm miserable and depressed. and alone. appearantly i drive people away. i have no friends and no life. and im making my husband's just as boring and sad. i've gone viral...

Collan the destroyer!

So, Collan thinks its funny to wake up mommy at 5 in the morning. And not let her go back to sleep. I must have rolled over onto my back while sleeping, and he found a nice cozy spot on my spine. It must have pinched a nerve real good because it felt like my rib cage had just been crushed by an elephant, and i couldn't lay back down for about an hour. Then when i finally got to lay back down, he thought it would be awesome to start moving around again, in the most awkward spots. It felt like he was trying to stand up sideways in my stomache. Bowser could tell something was wrong, and hasnt left my side since. But bowser was also kinda whining, and giving me this look, like, "he's coming, and I've warned you." I told him, if he's talking to the little boy in my belly, he better tell him he's got ten more weeks to stew. No premie babies here, no no no no. Anyway, my jobs still suck. i have two, and i'm still only getting 10-15 hours a week. But with all this baby aching, maybe the doctor will tell me no more work. no more worries. sort of. i might go a little nutty, but thats okay. mom seems to have survived all this time. :) i think my bosses are scared i'll pop mid shift. which is just silly. nothing a mop can't handle! other than that, there's really nothing else going on. pretty dull indeed. ....

Collan's Room

So, Destin decided we should paint the spare bedroom in our apartment for collan. i wanted to anyway, but he got all excited about it, so we went to get the paint. we still had some from when the landlord got us some to paint the whole apartment. it just needed color. we decided on an earthy brown color, and the room already looks amazing. it doesnt look half bad with the blue carpet either. and so far everything we've bought or received for the baby has been of a jungle/safari theme. so we went to the craft store today, and got some little wooden cut outs of an elephant, a hippo, an aligator, a lion, and a monkey. and a bunch of trees that i still have to paint. (the others were prepainted.) so as soon as we find a place to put our old king size matress, and destin's brother finally comes to pick up his pool table, i'll be able to make the room habitable. and i'll take pictures. i know i said i'd have pictures of my belly on here soon, but im just too lazy. but i'll have some before he pops out. 11 more weeks. ish.

Six months down, three to go. in four weeks i have to get a shot because my blood is a negative type. i hate needles. Collan is growing just like he should be. and so am i. i gained seven pounds between visits. i think the holidays may have largely contributed to that. ;) i thought i had gotten a really good job, and we'd start doing better, but the boss lady keeps telling me things that make it harder to want to work for her. like, for instance, she said jobs started at five in the morning at the earliest. and yet the only job she had scheduled for the new hires this week started at 3.50 in the morning. there's no way this body and this baby are letting me get out of bed that early. and it really sucks! because now i have to find another job. and it was hard enough finding that one. there is nothing in idaho. i hate it. why does this world suck so bad?

IT'S A BOY!!! His name will be Collan Edward Sterling. And so far so good. He's healthy as far as the doctors can tell and growing stronger every day. Some mornings he wakes me up real grumpy like, but other mornings are just fine. Only four months to go!